Korean BBQ looks simple: meat, fire, lettuce. But sit down at a busy restaurant in Seoul and you will notice everyone seems to know a set of rules nobody wrote down. Learning four of them — grilling, sides, ordering, and paying — turns your first BBQ night from awkward to easy.
Who actually grills?
At most restaurants, one person at the table takes charge of the tongs — often the youngest in a Korean group, but among friends it is simply whoever is good at it. Staff at many places will start the first round for you or step in to cut the meat with scissors. If a server reaches for your grill, let them: they are keeping the meat from burning, not rushing you. Flip thick cuts once or twice rather than constantly, and move cooked pieces to the cooler edge.
Side dishes are refillable — really
The small plates that arrive before the meat — kimchi, salads, pickled radish — are called banchan, and refills are free at virtually every BBQ restaurant. Many places have a self-serve banchan bar; otherwise just ask. Nobody will judge you for a third bowl of pickled radish. The lettuce and perilla leaves are for wrapping: one leaf, one piece of meat, a dab of ssamjang, and eat it in a single bite.
What to order first
- Start with pork belly (samgyeopsal) if it is your first visit — it is the baseline everyone loves.
- Order two portions per person as a starting point; you can always add more.
- Save rice and stew for the end — Koreans often finish with doenjang stew or cold noodles, not start with them.
How paying works
Splitting the bill item by item at the table is uncommon. Usually one person pays at the counter and the others send their share by app transfer afterwards — or the group takes turns across the evening: one pays for dinner, another for coffee, another for round two. As a visitor, offering to pay for the next stop is the smoothest way to join the rhythm. Tipping is not expected anywhere.
Remember these four — share the tongs, refill the banchan, start with pork belly, settle up by turns — and you will eat like you have done this before.
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